Love is in the AIR..m sealed in a vaccum chamber.

MritHyu has fallen in love.DebH*aroon has also got his special one.ArunjyotHi is also roaming with his someone in KORAMANGALA 100 ft road .NadHeem was also caught red handed with a girl at sony world.MisHra is also getting love virus from gtHalk.Apna bengali chele GivindHa to kab se SHivani-SHivani jap rha hai.So all my frnds in HUNGAMA group are busy now with their gals (Although none of them have changed their status in orkut profile).If you look at my very close friends of college, SontHalia has started giving 75 mins over a single call from a gal, Rigved was alreay engaged with someone (although i never got exactly what's happening over thr in his matter), AnandH is also busy with someone (in words of AbHisHek sontHalia its an ALOUKIK PREM).My roommate Araria is playing the second inning of his love life (he is going to shape the dream of DHIRU BHAI AMBANI..i mean he is going to avail unlimited STD offer of Reliance mobile).So everyone around me is very happy with his happening life.


At the same time i am unable to figure out what has happened to me.Why don't i allow someone to come close to my aura. For what the hell, i am standing with a no entry board for all the girls i can be afraid of falling in love with.
May be my past experiences related to girls i dealt with, are preventing me to go forward.May be my mind is active enough to take decision without giving my heart a chance.Or may be i don't want to bear pains of love life as i can't get my love in my life due to the conservative family i belong to.Anyone of these can be a reason behind my single status, but one important thing which i believe, is undoubtedly true that Love is not something to fall in rather its the thing to rise with.All the engaged males i encountered with, got negatively changed after getting into love.A sudden substantial change can be observed in their attitude, behaviour & relationship with other friends.They used to live dual character in the same life.One what is for their love & the another one for all others.How can you think of getting true love without revealing the real U hidden inside.It is ridiculous that the one whom you claim to be in true love with, does know mere a fraction of real yours.In what direction this love life of urs is taking u alongwith ?

It may be sounding a little harsh for those who have recently fallen in love,but believe me if they analyse the difference they have gone through during their love period, they can't deny my point.All other relationships & friendships seems to be dwarf in front of this new one.sometimes people wants to be socially isolated & disappear from the real world. Is this love worthy enough to leave all other things behind.


Well although i may boast of understanding the things very well or well enough to make a balance between love & all other stuffs of life, but one very real fact which i can't ignore is ,now i am looking for a serious kind of relationship, which may go long. At the same time i can't go against my parents' decision, i mean arranged marriage stuff.
In our Moral science class or while writing essays anywhere on Castism, Dowry system we all were writing gr8 bookish quotes against it. My parents had also written in their time ,but i got it more than mere getting marks, while my parents didn't & here lies the difference. I can't go on the things i believe in just bcoz my parents were attending their classes only to get jobs or degrees.So if i have got the things correct my children can go according to this.Really its well going according to the law that everyone has pay for what his parents' deed & so have I.

Okay without more digressions i am coming to a more interesting aspect... if you are really in love you must understand that finding your love may be difficult,going well in love life somewhat more difficult,but maintaining other relationships when you are in love, is the real test of your love.If you are well enough in doing this, believe me you can deal with any big task related to relationship management in future very easily.This is called rising in love. You are getting matured before facing real challenge of life, which people like me will be lacking.I don't know about others , but am damn sure about myself that i'll be facing a lot of difficulties in managing things with my bItter half. So i may take somewhat more time than all my friends to move to the next stage of life, bcoz not at any point of time i find myself mentally matured enough for the serious decision.
So literally for me there is no way left other than coming out of this vaccum chamber of mine & have some fresh air ,but for that i need to have some bold steps which won't be a cakewalk.Infact tougher than any decision i have ever taken or may be i will be taking.I have done some planning for myself after doing a lot of mathematical calculation & am hoping, if everything goes according to plan, very soon highly criticized arrogant behavior towards girls will turn into other way.
Well lets see how life unfolds itself.



(*An extra 'H' is just to give this post a south-indian taste.)

The two 'I' factor

Yesterday when i was doing my so called project work suddenly my eyes got stuck on the word I on the screen.Earlier also my have been stuck in the same way to other words also(coz of my poor vocab power), but for the first time in life i got confused over a word i am dealing with for more than 17 yrs.I searched it in the website yourdictionary.com
i got 14 entries for this



                                       
but still i was looking for smthing more.I kept thinking for long & then come up with what 'I' means to me.
For a looser like me 'I' has always been either missing or misplaced in life.In the challenging days of my life when i was preparing for Engineering entrance examinations,I always hankered for two I +one T (IIT) in my life.I tried my good (but not best...i accept this truth..shamelessly) but at last i had to manage with One I +One T,it's another thing that i got an xtra N,which i never wished for.I have seen some of my freinds, having both I in their respective profiles, were given warm welcome everywhere.This was the point where i was (in fact m still ) two steps behind them.
This was not the difference of mere two steps but a pretty wide difference of attitude also.A number of times i found arrogance in their behavior.I can remind lots of incidents where persons with the TWO I factor overlooked the presence of others like me (with one I or none).In those moments i used to get envy of their status not to get superior position n have an attitude problem like them, but to be a part of the conversation going on & to understand the jargon used by them.
Any ways with not having any choice other than accepting my failure i started my life @ NIT JSR.But here again the word COMPROMISE hasn't let me get out of its grip. This time i had to compromise with my branch. Although this time some ingenuine entries (entries from back door) had put me on a way which was hardly leading me to a position to feel like a real techie. My branch name was Metallurgy & Material Science (the name itself carrying a word science to make u feel like doing BSc.).Again i had to accept it & I did...In the 2nd sem of the four year journey i got some hope when i heard of branch change option on the basis of CGPA. Once again i started dreaming to fly with new technical wings.But like a crash course this evanescent joy also finished before i could start realizing it.Once again i was ditched by luck.At the very end of this sem when everything was going okay, i got trapped in the hands of Jaundice.This was really shocking for me as i hadn't got any serious decease till then.Well with the blessings of my parents & all the relatives, i am still alive writing this post, but couldn't manage to attend my xams.As a reward for requesting alternative for the exams, i got supplementary option by the superpowers of college.At this stage of time when u know that your performance is going to be evaluated by decreasing it by one complete point, its very awkward to have any hope of branch change n fill ur choices in the form. So i didn't fill the form for branch change.The most tragic moment was when i got results n found my marks good enough to lead me to Electrical branch.
It is the first time i am admitting my mistake to underestimate my capacity.I usually say to people that i always loved meta n never wanted to get rid of it.
Pradeep (one of my good freinds) often said to me this is the branch which has given me so much of exposure,the popularity among juniors & teachers, also among the students of other colleges. But my point is at what cost? At the cost of my peace of mind, a number of sleepless nights, countless of days working without having lunch , my dooming career ( i don't know how i will survive in an industry where i don't have any right to be), attending almost all the classes, stigma of a flop organiser ( which i strongly disagree) or at the cost of all the cheating done by my branchis ( whom i always cared for).sometimes when i look back on those days i find myself nothing more than an stupid with a black Technica BAG hanging on my shoulders running for stupid things. I may not be right all the time, n may be this time again by i am feeling like being cheated by myself.I should have done something for my future in the past four years, which i think has been wasted without a thought.
But now i think its stupid to get stuck to ur past specially when it is very painful, so i am a fresh new Sambhaw, who has learnt from his past, but has nothing to do with his older form.Once again i am back with immense energy, again i have got a mission in my life, once again i am going to have a fight for the two I (this time I+I+M).Till now everything is supporting me, my company is providing me the best i can have, perfect shift,perfect package,perfect perks,perfect workload,perfect flexibility, in a nut shell a perfect I.If you believe in what Om prakash makheeja(shahrukh khan in Om shanti om) says... kisi cheej ko dil se chah0 to poori kaaynaat tumhe usse milane mein lag jati hai... i am on the coming soon board of IIM...