If This would have been This & That ,That..

A question which i have been constantly asked by my juniors & some relatives, is how meaningful is a person with NON-(IT/Computer) background in IT field.Sometimes i was asked, not exactly the same thing but it can be said similar one, by high profile persons from NML & Tata Steel ," how meaningful is a person of metallurgical background not being in metallurgical field ?"
I dont know why but i never answered to my juniors in a very serious manner, it wasn't me at all saying the craps i did all the time.Reason wasn't that i didn't know the right answer or i never wanted to share it with them, may be it was better to leave them thinking over this topic,coz i was sure this is not going to change either their mind or the way they look at the two things.
But in a party at Beldih club organised by Tata steel,i couldnt mince my words when a person asked me why are u going to IBM when u have learnt metallurgy for four year.I simply said without getting into debate over it,i have learnt metallurgy pretty much, now its turn for some IT skills,the field,i am really bad at .He didnt say anything further, i also again started finishing the little stuff left in my plate.
It happened once again when i was asked to give company to a scientist (who used to teach us some topics of advanced materials) over a cup of tea,again he started the same topic,being topper of branch,what r u going to do in IBM, selling computers door to door ? It wasnt as flat statement as it has been written here,i am bad in putting emotions on paper,so i cant show u how contemptuous the remark was.As it was going to affect my grades so i let it go saying no i am gonna sell softwares office to office.
I was wondering what all these people are saying is right ?If yes, then what about me?I don't claim to be right all the time,but this time i hardly find anything wrong here.
If i had to answer truely,i would say,yes i have read metallurgy for four years,so what?I had read Electrostatics for four years too & there was a time when i was crazy about this part of physics.Nobody came forward asking why are you going for Metallurgy,when you don't have good marks in inorganic chemistry.Actually the whole education system is a mess, a big mess.Wanna know how ..let see.
First thing to all those analysts who always poke their nose when you do something which they think is wrong, if you really want to utilise the human resourse (the word i hate to use for us) the only way to do it by allocating each of us at right place according to our interest, the place an individual is really good at.If we talk about Engg stream,a person having good marks in mechanics should be given mechanical branch,one with good marks in modern physics should join Electonics & so for all other streams,while i don't find a place for computer science in Engg college.It has very less to do with engg,& if at all there is something to do for an engineer it easily can be a part of Electronics engg or i guess, it has already been a part of.
So how can this giant IT sector could survive ?For this i would say they should go to all BCA,MCA,B Sc IT etc. guys, courses which are somehow neglected by good students & is filled with average or not so good students.If this IT industry really offers better compensation & perks,then whoever want to have it should do a course related to that only.

I think there is a group of people who don't care for their area of interest & go after money, manipulating their desire list by giving extra weightege to money, they are free to choose any computer course & make money,there is no need of doing an engineering course in metallurgy, mechanical or any stream bcoz its nothing but wastage of four years, the valuable four years in which you used to be most passionate about learning not only academic courses but also how to tackle adverse situations.I remember before starting engg college life i knew how to make freinds,but it was the place where i learnt how to retain them.Really graduation means a lot more than mere a degree,it transforms a person from a boy to a man in all the senses.I had a talk with a number of my friends here in this industry & i got most of them have not got any extra edge of their engg course in fact most of them are doing something which is hardly an engineering.Strange but quite true.Then what is the meaning of all those time, preparing for Engineering entrance exams & studying (or not studying) continuously for four years.Now if i turn back n see ,i find everything nonsense.somebody was making me Bakra,without failing a day for complete four years.

Aah!!..

This didnt happened to me only,this Bakra play has been played to most of us & the show will go on & on.I don't know that how many of us are noticing it & if yes what is going to be its future? What is the solution & if there is any,then who is going ahead for it.From where it should be started ?
Too many questions & not many answers.

Nobody wants to engage his stuff into this web.And if someone really wants to do it,what should be the first step? One method can be by ensuring that none of the company should be allowed to touch students from streams, the company is not directly linked to.By doing this IT companies will be forced to fulfill its requirement from institutes related to this field only.After this these institutes will be successful in drawing attention of good students.In the spam of 5 years most of the thing can be normal.
But it is not so easy,as the upheavel created by this is going to affect the campus placement of Engg colleges & most of its students who have already joined the college won't get employed.seems tough now...well it is the first thing ,there are many more as Engg is not only a field affected.Okay lets have the picture at a broader level.


Can you notice the difference in the two snaps what i can.No..... other than the T-shirts & by the way that LEE T-shirt is not original one.The person in the left is Uday,(we call him U.D.).His monthly income is Rs.1500/-.

while the person in right is Vijayanand mishra,(we call him Mishra)
, monthly income is Rs 22000/-.
Still don't you find the winning smile on the left face & a failed effort of smiling on the right one.Nope ..i am not saying that who earns less is more happy.Infact i believe money has nothing to odo with happiness.The reason is something else.U.D is a cook,really a good one.He is doing what he knows,what he is good at,what he has been doing for a number of years.
While Mishra is a production Engineer working in IBM.& the pain on his face is either for what he is doing now or for what he was doing for four years of Engg.
My younger sister is really good at painting.And somehow i could convince my parents to let her continue her painting class even in the exam-days.But now i feel she is more into chasing a seat in a reputed Engg college than her painting work.This isn't because she likes it or she is good at Maths & Science,but due to failure of Painting to make its presence as a source of earning bread.I don't know whether she is going to crack something good in any entrance exams or not,but one thing is for sure that she has put her painting future on pause or may be this be a fullstop.Once again a skill is on stake.This is not the single case,almost in every family you can find a case or two.
Have another face.



A 3 & half year old child,studying in nursery in an XYZ school ,hardly knows upto N for nose.His father has decided a professional career for him,Engineering,preferably from IIT.Why the hell did you leave stream for Engineering ? n believe me this is going to happen,11 year from now, he will take Maths as a subject for Intermediate & after preparing for 2-3 year, will be joining any Engg college(may be IIT itself).He is my nephew 'Utsav parashar',& when i heard all this from his father ie my Jijaji ,i also added two thing from my side, he will be joining Guitar classes & he will be having Love marriage...haha.

I can't understand while selecting our professionla life where do we leave the most important thing 'interest'.We almost forget the word itself while going for the biggest decision of life.There are a number of things like music,literature,farming,cooking which have been neglected completely as a source of income, but can be a matter of interest for an individual.

Now everything has started to change. Some of my friends, now at this point in life, are planning to switch to the field once they loved.They don't have an option.But is it mandatory for all to follow the same path, if at all they have to do what they really want, what they were once crazy about,what they always had a dream of.
Learning from mistake is not the only way of learning.especially if everybody knows something is wrong, what is the meaning of going for it.

Do you find a question in Utsav'eyes, now you may not & i also can pretend so,but i am sure after 15 years from now the same eyes can ask it again- What were you doing when everything was being decided ? & i'll be left with a vacuous look, or will try to say-Was planning for your marriage-if i could.

Friends forever

It has been a long time, since i have added a post here,reason is not that i am very much engrossed in my work (i guess IBM is not lucky to have the complete me :D) ,it is the Friends CDs i got for free.Tons of thanks to my friend Asit,he saved my 500/-only( i hate this word only at these places).I had seen many of its episode,but not in the sequence.the same case was with Sex & the city also but that was not so irresistible as Friends, to make me think of buying CDs.So it was kinda incompleteness after watching random episodes & if it is something you love so much that its theme is your ringtone for past few months (i hardly give any ringtone so much time) then the intensity of that incompleteness is much more than one can expect.

All my friends know me as a person not so emotional ,which makes me difficult to watch this in front of them.I used to be totally different when i watch it,so i prefer to be alone watching it,so that you can laugh,cry get freak with Chandler,Phoebe,Ross,Rachel,Monica & my hero JOEY (I am a huuge fan of him).
They all are so perfect,that you can't imagine them in any other character, even in their original identity also.Everything seems so much real that you can't restrict yourself from being completely occupied by the moments of love,laughter,togetherness,difficulties n all.Atleast i failed completely & used to fail all the times i go for it.Everything is so perfect,that you start of finding a flaw in this,& end up not with even a single suggestion for any part which could have shot better than what has been.All the characters are totally different & you cant replace anyone with another person.well if you have seen it already then you can understand my feelimgs & if you haven't or done it partially, do go for it.Here is a video stolen from ........,i loved it.



A number of episodes i have seen so many times that i can enjoy some of the lines anytime anywhere & even without closing my eyes,with the exact tone,with the same gesture.while writing this also i can see Joe saying HOW ARE YOU DOING ? in the way,which no one other than him can do.The feeling between Ross & Ratchel is so intense that sometimes you will start praying for them (I really did).Accidently i saw the last episode,the time they are being apart & show is going to be a past,makes everything emotionally so painful that you can start crying with them.All romantic scenes are also presented so well.In India i have never seen anything made even marginally close to it.
Now i have got another reason to hate USA.yes it is another one,the other one is my teammates of USA.Yeah they have got all the ingredients that you can't stop hating them, Dominating+Senior+Teammate+Girl+USA. A deadly combo,making me work in not so cooperative manner.well sorry IBM can't help it.

All these things never mean that i don't like indian serials,infact i do like Mahabhata or Ramayana ,the biggest milestones of Doordarashan,but still there you can find a number of mistakes,a number of actors who simply spoiled the characters by their acting (its what they call it).But if you see any character in Friends other than the main six also,they all fit to the role given.Its amaazingly refreshing to watch a single episode of this. n guess what is the most painful thing,when you watch desi Saas-Bahu-Bhabhi-Beti-Devrani-Jethani-Nanad daily soaps.The only reason i am not going for a TV here in my room is that i cant afford to watch even a single promo of these never-ending serials.I don't know how they come up with some new old-ideas & here comes another Kahaani.
when it comes to movies we are moving forward & i can see a few movies in bollywood,outstandingly good.But on small screen the only thing can entertain me is MTV roadies.I am dying to see a revolution on small screen which can finish everything there & start from scratch,so that we can start playing with remote (which we man & the remote is made for)
Till then i don't have a choice other than these Firangee serials,after all we have adopted a number of thing already, so let it be.

Finally I am safe...sigh!!

Just now after opening my lotus note mail finally i managed to find the much awaited mail from RCM.It was the mail confirming that i've successfully passed the ELTP test.As right now there is no one in the office to pat me on the back so i am left to do it myself.
This was the practice i have been doing for more than a month...no not of patting...it was searching for the RCM mail in my inbox.So this will be the last post i am mentioning the test & all that upheaval created by this in IBM ELTP community.
So Congrats to all who passed this test successfully & my good wishes are with those who somehow couldn't.

Expectations... a word shouldn't exist

Shifting from college life to corporate one may not have done any miracle in my life, but it has made me emotionally stronger, i guess.While i was mentioning the changes in my life during this shift, i hadn't mentioned a gr8 change in my thinking,probably it had to & should be mentioned seperately.
I've been hurt a number of times in my life,or better say this was the only consistent process in my life so far.Nothing changed from the age of my consciousness to college life, frequency might be changing.
Friends,relatives,college-mates,seniors,juniors,professors all have been a source of cheating.The reason behind all was not that they were not good enough to interact with,or i ain't the one deserving some thing better than what i got.The thing was my expectations from them.I may not be right always,but here as this is me presenting everything on canvass,so can't put the picture from other's view.So i can't say i was always right or was always wrong,but one thing which was & in all tenses will be wrong is Expectation.
I don't hate this word,coz i deny the existence of this in my life.You know it is the only source of dispute between two matured responsible person.
If both of you are right then why is the problem?Why all the misunderstandings if any?Its all due to difference in the level of expectations you have from the other one.If you are in any kind of relationship, with someone,you cant force the other one to put exactly the same amount of commitment to the relationship.(Then how can you expect this?) Its also not easy to make both magnitude equal, infact when testd on a minute scale its almost impossible.Whenever this disparity arises this is going to create a misunderstanding.If you are lucky enough that both of you can ignore each other's mistake then you can avoid any dispute upto a certain extent.
But if anyone of you fail to do that,outcome wont be pleasant.

So if you really want to equate expectations from both sides which has different values,(in most of the cases) the simple & i believe the only way to do it, is by multiplying both sides with zero.Thats what i have done for my side,so now i won't be hurt,i wont be a cause of dispute coz i dont expect that a thing done by other one wasnt what he couldn't,but still there are misunderstandings with the persons i am having any business with.
Reason behind is the other one hasn't nullify his expectations.So if something unwanted happens he would be the only person to be hurt,i am the safe one.Now i dont find anyone cheating on me, coz i never find anything he is doing unpredicted.
So i have successfully tested this method on myself,but still its not complete as it needs two person to test its effect on any relationship.Infact i need to check out for loop-holes of this method if any.

I am waiting for the other one.

m sorry for them....

Yesterday i was on my way to office, as usual was 35 mins late, so had to rush through the narrow roads,(filled with garbage) of S.G. Palya.If i get a chance to rate the roads of Bangalore out of 10, i would like to give it 11,its not bcoz i need to pass through it twice,rather its bcoz of lack of management here.You'll hardly feel like being in Bangalore here,although its 6 mins from the Forum.A number of times i had seen the gundas (officially should be said agents) of Bangalore development authority picking up bikes from the roadside of Koromangala but never found s them here, may be they also don't want to take a risk on pebbles.

Being an outsider,having no rights to take part in govt making process & the most important, as i am not paying tax to Bangalore Municipal corporation directly, so i should restrict myself from getting into this.

Okay m back on the track to office, i had just taken my second turn in the way, i got a well known face coming from opposite direction.Yes i cant afford to forget it as she was one of the two, helping me in all the general ELTP tests during the training.I was busy in playing computer games during lectures & during tests,was looking in all directions possible other than to my answer sheet .After training i had taken pretty much pain finding them on orkut & succeeded in getting the other one.You can imagine how special they should be if i truly respect them( i hardly do this for any women other than belonging to family & relatives).

But What is she doing here? as other than a solid contributer to the company's progress like me, used to be there in office at 10'o clock sharp.Then it struck me that her name was one among the names in firing list.

I donno why but all of a sudden i was not able to decide what to do now.Should i ignore her & cross without noticing her? but this will left her feeling like without IBM brand now she is not worthy enough to have a look upon.So i cant do this,but if i stop by her what answer she can have if i ask how r u doing?I knew this will be a killing moment for her,& for me also.I
couldnt get further time to make the tough decision & ended up saying Hi with a pretentious smile on my face.She also responded in the same manner although the intensity of pretension was much more than mine.I coildn't face her anymore & went going as if i don't know anything.
I was feeling like guilty of being in a company where she couldn't manage to be in,although there was nothing i had done for her leading to this state of her,but at the same time i couldn't do anything for her to avoid this.I pray to my Bhagawanji to give her the best she could have.

I know i am least emotionally-attached with the company,its performance,future or anything related to this.I am toatally professional here,infact much more than i could be.But when it comes to policy specially HR one, i totally dislike it.I think they r trying to imitate others in the field in some manners & gets confused to take the next step, or may be again waiting for others at this stage also.But when you r not totally the same,all other things r different from others how can you afford to do what others r doing?

2007 was the first year when this company started hiring like others.although was not completely successful,but managed to create a good number.All other things like compensation package,perks are different from others with a good margin.Problem lies here.

Being a great admirer of Charles Darvin(almost adore him),i don't find it wrong to sack people if you have an excuse of quality improvement.If you set up a criteria & find someone failing to that one, you cant afford to have them with an IBM badge.

But this is the thing you should have thought earlier when you were hunting for the students in the campus.Situation gets worse when you have taken people from two different backgrounds for the same kind of job.I havent mentioned ever in my posts that this year in ELTP batchs one can find students from Science background also other than Engineering one.I have nothing to do with that,infact i appreciate everything related to science.I believe if you are Good in science,you are much better than a person doing good in enginnering .

But the word Good in the first part of line is somewhat upper in my scale.So here some of them were good & some not so.But all the time they judgement they were on the same scale as we were (which i strongly condemn).How a ceiling fan be compared to a washing machine? Both has its own importance.

How can you take all your decision only on a single performance.How all the things done during almost two quarters can be a minnow opposite to the-single-day's Shark? This is not an entrance exam, the person you threw out was a damn IBMer in the same fashion u r & hence deserves more than this? If someone could listen to me,i demand a second chance for them as in all other companies.This is the time we people should start moving towards a union.Although i have always criticized unionization of any kind wiyhin an industry & this is one of the things i dislike about Non-IT companies.Infact most of the young minds think like the same way.

But if the situation is like this,how can one stop himself from changing his mind.

What do u say....mmm??

keep urself away...plz

Follow me not,
dont give me a call,
cant look back now
m numb to ur actions

yeah,m out of ur reach
u cant touch me now
cant pull me back
can step on my shadow,
not tangible enough to help u
can feel my smell in air
evanescent enough to ditch u

No u cant capture me anymore
not even the tiniest part o'mine
can have my attention
followed by ur regrets
m erasing the layers
from my past
u did imprint over

no u cant blame me
not even praise
cant ignore
coz my words will always be
echoing there
deep inside u

am afraid
the way u'r trying to hold me
can project me out of ur sight


m praying the sun to fall
no matter its morning or what
the breeze to be still
might be soothing to all
to make u deprived of
the slightest virtual feeling of mine

A bad morning...

Its 3.32 p.m. CST ie 3.02 a.m according to Indian time, I am in my office,with both my back & legs on chairs.I am waiting for Mike's ping informing me of a well known abend (a sure to be).After fixing that my todays job will be over.I am watching the movie First daughter but don't know why its buffering so slow.Generally it doesn't happen with other movies or better say other days.
So i gave it time to get buffered,meanwhile i open a new post here to write something.Actually in last post i didn't mention something, which is really much important than the Bull-market run.
Like all other days this morning also i was waken up by my cell phone.No it was not alarm but a call from a very good friend of mine.We had shared some really memorable moments in college.I had prepared all of my presentations on his system,& also enjoyed the biscuits & dry-fruits from his jar.
I hadn't opened my eyes,& in fact was not in a mood to talk with anyone.So hoping it should not go long,i directly came to the point Kya hai ? Koi mail aaya kya? By this mail i meant the Congrats mail for the ELTP test (which now people have started getting). He answered me Yes i got a mail, but not with congrats but with Firing message.I was stunned,was unable to figure out how to react now.It was unbelievable so i pleaded him not to make a joke like this.He told me that you might not believe but this is the reality.
I told him not to panic,which was indeed meaningless,in fact i realised if this would had happened to me how could had i stopped my self from crying as loud as i can,No matter whatsoever be the situation,whoever be in front of me.I tried to console him & told him to head towards Bangalore,here he could get a job much easily than other places.
How can i forget its only two days gone when he had wished me on my birthday, over a complete hour call in which he had mentioned about his project & Punjabi project manager living in US.He almost mentioned all abouthis teammates,his schedules,his role in project & everything.And its now, he has nothing to say anymore.He had already planned to leave this company himself,but after a secured position in another company,i believe this was not he meant,in fact this wasn't the proper time or way he ever expected.But this is something called LIFE you will be forced constantly to expect the least expected.
Some time i gets shaken by these news, despites all my self-confidence,when i find someone i know very well in a place like this.If i believe in the last line of the above paragraph, the very next least expected person to get into this condition is me.Who Knows ?

Happy Birthday to me...

Well you must be wondering it has been three days gone of my birthday & still this nut is having hang over of that.No there is nothing like that, actually as i had told you earlier it will be hard for me to write anything here until i find accretion in the market.yeah its somewhat late than expected, but finally market has come back on track today.From yesterday this change in wind can be felt,infact yesterday the hike was much more than today.But today is special as i started selling my shares from holding.The profit was nominal of 8 % avg but it came at a moment when i needed it most as tomorrow i am supposed to deposit some cash in papa's account.
As i am normal again,so now i can continue with scribbling here.12th feb 1983, the day i completed my first circle on earth rotating alongwith it on its axis.So it was silver jubilee of the day & hence was meant to be special.But contrary to this it was the worst birthday i celebrated ever.In fact there was nothing like celebration here.At 12 p.m. when 11 th feb was kissing the 12th, my cellphone started crying, it was Manish mandal one of my closest friends (Second topper of the batch).I wasn't expecting that as we were in contact with each other on orkut only.But it was a good beginning, start of unexpected things.then came Mrithyu's call,Arun's had called me in advance.Praveen,Abhishek,Rigved,Jai chand(Anand),Choti-didi,Badi-didi,Atik,Saurabh,Vishal,Madhu,Pradeep(although i missed his call),Paul,Asit & person other than these had wished me on orkut.It was good everybody remembered my birthday,except my parents (& lil sister...haha).
Actually its not their fault at all, now i feel they need a daughter-in-law as their own daughters had failed to remind them of my birthday.Last year also they were about to miss it but my unexpected calls helped them. but now as i call them regularly so it didnt work.Although i talked to them on that day & as usual had taken blessings also,but the talk was centered to the marriage proposal came for me.Okay... No regrets... as they are always with me whether they show their presence or not,a word from them hardly matters.Today my mom realised the mistake, & called me explaining it.
As i told you there was nothing like celebration here,probably the sinking sensex was one of the reason behind it.The another one was the busy schedule of all,i used to work in night shift & all my friends,room-mate in day, so it was impossible to get together at a place for anything.So i promised them all of a treat on weakend.And now when a part of my investment has turned to be a successful one it has become meaningful to spend it on my friends.
Thank you Bhagwanji....a nice gift from you, although a lil late like my parents' but worthy enough to overshadow all other's.

Irony meansss...

While was writing my post mentioning the change in my life i was thinking to change the appearance of my Blog.This change was meant to be not only with the template, Font or background color,but with the Title & site address also.But as usual i am late in this again
,in fact i am late in writing a post on this change also.
Okay now i am almost done with the changes i had to do with this blog appearance.And if you notice now you'll find i have changed background from black to almost white & Title shows Fumbling in dark..strange..

I have taken care of all types of reader here,if you really claim to be a serious one,you can continue pretending that,despites finding nothing worthy here.
if you are bored of reading stupid lines of mine,& are not able to bear with me anymore,no need to go for ALT+F4, you can minimize this window & listen to FMs(but remember you'll be charged for this service 6 Rs.per minute right from the moment you minimize the window).Again you see there is big noise going on around & my site address is inviting you to feel my silence ( sounds like kinda cheating like offers in Showrooms of popular brands)
Or if you do hate Pop/Rap?Jazz etc. or are not influenced with hip-hop at all or in other language if you are a member of Bajrang dal,then also you are welcome to feed my monkey Spank(Banana is available free of cost here,but for Spank only).you can play with him but don't forget to give him 2 banana at 5 mins interval, bcoz may be sometime God may sometime fail to keep an eye on you,but you can't escape from Monika Gandhi* if you have anything to do with animals,in fact while writing essay or paragraph on them for your son in 4th standard you have to be careful in selecting the words for them.
You can question why all ironical names here ? I could have chosen something else.Actually i am not good at writing, in fact i put whatever comes in my mind & in the least interesting way possible ,so its a sort of poor presentation of thoughts & until these blog-hosting-sites start charging for each post (which i don't find happening in near or even far future also) i will continue doing all this.
While if you want justification for feel-my-silence & FMs,i would like to say that its not difficult at all to stick to what you have come for at this webpage, the real test lies when you have been called for something & are given something else (in addition to original one) which seems to be much more interesting than the first one, & you end up with the original cause.
I don't want you to click on the mute option there,but i do want you to show some respect to the posts.You can't realize how much time & contemplation, each of my posts has imbibed.I used to refer to Oxford dictionary 7-8 times to complete a line (sometime more than that if its a long one).


Now the anticlimax.....there is nothing like mentioned above...all a hogwash,i liked the words & put them on my blog ...hehehe...really it has nothing to do with anything mentioned above.
*This is not a mistake.

2 Mascon global...

Now a days i am going through a special type of financial crisis.Its 10th of the month & my account balance is showing a sum of 322/- only.Still a number of payments are to be made (including 6000 for the credit card due & 5000 to be sent to mom) ...What's going on ?What's wrong with me?
When today i was in Manjeera (the restaurant where i used to stuff myself) i discovered a new mode of payment other than cash,cheque,credit or debit cards,suitable for a person like me.I asked the person on counter,with whom i am quite friendly,do you accept Mascon globals.WHAT??? this was the quick reply.Believe me guys his face at that moment was like never before ..mouth wide open.I couldn't stop myself & with a little grin on my face i began yes you charge 35 bucks for a meal so you can take 2 Mascon global.or if you want then i can give you 4 Lincon pharmas. well this time without waiting for a reply,i paid him 35 bucks & took the meal token.All the tables under the roof were filled with girls from my block so i managed with the seats available along the road.Its better compared to inner one, as you can get fresh air to inhale & if are lucky enough, a layer of dust on your plate when a car crosses the place.
I started to finish my plate,but my mind had been stuck to the facial expression offered by the person, & also what he must be thinking of me...a nuts or something more than that.May be today i seem to be stupid but its quite feasible after a decade or less than that all of us will start trading in the same manner as i was trying to do.
So what's all this about ? Why i am suffering from such an impecuniousness ? This is not due to my meager income,No it doesn't tend to be tiny in front of my expenditures.The thing is that.. whole salary of mine is on the stake as from the very second day after salary i started investing my money into share market & in a matter of days i ended up with my 28k in market.Now comes the tragedy, most of the shares i bought are mid-cap one & every day market ends with a loss of 500 or approx.The names i mentioned above are the two from my portfolio.Now you can find me right as after some year,a transaction may take a form like this.In addition to fund transfer we can transfer our shares also.

No matter its 7 0r 7.30 in morning, i came from work & fell to bed, dead like a piece of flesh,i have to wake up at 9.50 sharply & connect my lappy to internet,with a hope of some greens against the names i had shown my interest into.But i don't know what's wrong with them now.Earlier they used to be indifferent of little volatility of market.May be my strong inclination to red color is reason behind this.
Very soon i am going to start my second rotation around the sun,being in this field.So kinda matureness should be expected from my decisions.But i am afraid to say that despites all my calculations,market-analyses, at the end of the day what i am getting is a new value for my shares, all lesser than previous one.
The last week of disaster has weaken me so much that if i don't find a situation different than this on monday, you may find me crying through out the day.m not joking...at least can't at this point of time.So this is a message for all my friends if there is nothing encouraging this monday,Don't call me,No SMS,No scraps like How r u? coz i don't want to lie, specially going through a phase like this.OMG what am i gonna do on this tuesday( my birthday) without a penny.mere thinking of this scares me totally.
Have you heard the song of A.R. Rehman ..Pray for me brother....(i got it loaded in my N73) well i sing really very bad,otherwise its the perfect time to sing this.I do mean it...Pray for me brother.
Oh Bhagwanji !! i don't like Reds any more..can you give me some Greens....plzzzzz.

Stop torturing me...

I don't have a problem with working hard,i can put atleast 90% of mine in work at most of the time (in fact my go beyond it if needed).But problem arises when someone tries to take advantage of me,it sucks.Am i a kid you can make me work just giving a chocolate.
Till now i haven't mentioned about the work, am doing in my company, coz i don't want to say something about nothing.I don't know my luck always favors me when it comes to money,but when matters with Knowledge-gaining come i am the cursed one.I always wanted to learn something about anything whatever comes to my way.but all the times i used to get distracted by other things.
In this company also i am struggling against the same,when i was on bench everybody was going for trainings & so i also wanted to be in the herd.Like everyone i asked my people manager to give me approval needed to enroll myself for any training.But it was rejected saying you should restrict yourself to ELTP trainings only.Was strange.. least expected, the rejection was a bit but the justification was toatally.What does that Restriction mean? still this line is a puzzle for me.I was thinking to go for certifications after these trainings,but after this i couldn't imagine asking for that.In all other approval like reimbursements,American-Express card, he was quite quick & never raised his brows,but this was something else & probably was not an icecube for my glass.
Well without any training i went for an interview for a project, i was ready to answer most of the Competency related questians could be asked to me at that level.But my interviewer (now my team-lead) was expecting something else from me.He just wanted me to show respects to all seniors in the team, was a bit strange, i had never expected anyone demanding respect.Coz i had always believed that Respect can't be created forcefully, if someone tries to do it, he can hardly end up creating fear among others (filled with hatred).I didn't say anything which was misunderstood as my accedence to his words.

Probably it's due to my silence only, i am in this project.I got warm welcome by everyone in the project specially from people of US.In my introduction mail all my achievements were mentioned,my being branch topper,all the prizes won by me & everything.It was mentioned it will be gr8 working with me.I don't know about them but from my side i haven't found anything gr8 while working or better say pretending to work.
It was gr8 to know that the platform i will be working on is good in the sense of demand.but, again the BUT was also added to that line, the version of front-end-tool ie Cognos we are using is an older one, so its difficult to have traditional training to be arranged for me.So i have to manage with Knowledge transfer(KT)...was pretty well someone will be focussed to me only while teaching.It started with Remote KT ie, who will be transferring me his knowledge (my team mate )wil trnsfer everything over phone calls, chats,& net meetings.It wasn't okay but i went for this as it was decided after this introduction there will be a tour arranged so that my team mate can come to Bangalore to give me KT.
It's third month of my joining but i didn't find something concrete in this direction.Now the person whom i am replacing is gone & i am supposed to work as he was doing, but how is this possible.It was okay in day shift coz i could ask other team-mates if i stuck to a point but now when i am working in night shift all safeguards used to be sleeping.The only problem i am facing in this shift is my poor knowledge about this system.When someone from US team asks me to solve any problem , i can't understand even the words mentioned ,going for solution is like a dream.I don't know what impression of mine,this is creating on them.. a DUMBO..if not exactly this, then i bet nothing less than this.My life was never like this, may be i didn't perform well at deciding moments of life but one thing i never compromised with is Complete understanding of stuffs.I never move on without covering up all things behind.This asphyxiating environment is making me do all i ever hated.
Another thing is my Think-pad issue,i am dying for it so that i can start working from home.My TP is in Hyderabad but don't know what's happening on this issue, infact now m tired of asking for it.This is not really enough for a jerk like me ,i haven't got proper access to the servers in three complete months, tickets have been cancelled & raised a no of times.My sent folders in mailbox are filled with follow-up mails,now i remember all the case numbers (in spite of my poor memory).I can guess the person's name at help-desks now.The never-ending-Approval-chains,Useless meetings & now the new-born cab issue,i think its proper time for reciting all the hindi-bhakti songs have heard so far ratherthan chanting for Help.Seriously the only way left to get tranquility in life is this,Listen the songs like Humko man ki shakti dena...or Itni shakti humein dena data..or the superb one Ae malik tere bande hum..(reminds me of my Dadimaa,she liked this a lot).

Well, waiting for balmy breeze to blow again.

Which mode you r in ??

When i watched Laga Chunari mein Dag, (sorry i went for it, actually situation made me watch it)
till next two days i didn't make any silly comment on any girl (Unbelievable but true), did spend my money very wisely & you can say that Sambhaw was behaving like a responsible, matured person.
When i went for HEY BABY for that particular week i was doing everything with my don't-care attitude .What the hell i have to do with the whole thing i am involved in.What job, what family,what relatives, what share-market speculations, everything was like nothing.If any thing pricking my conscience, was Value of life,value of the moment i am living in.I was behaving like a new-born-baby with no past,doesn't know whats future.It had all its sentences in present tense only.This person was knowing IS, neither WAS nor WILL.
After Tarein Zameen per again everything changed, this time i got nostalgic over the incidents from my past.I started thinking everything with a childish heart,which was purer than all other mundane stuffs.
One thing noticeable about me is that Since i started working in night shift, my belief in GOD has increased tremendously.Now i used to listen ANUP JALOTA.
So mindset keeps changing as on the situation.This is what i call different modes of mindset.It keeps changing from Family to Cool dude,from Childish to Bhakti (Bhakti includes everything MATRU,DESH,BHAGVAT everything).You can't assure of someone's behavior in a particular situation & interestingly neither can he himself.Its the Mode, that will decide every act he does,tone of each sentence from his mouth,the scale of vigor he puts in his work,everything...almost everything.

Infact for very short interval also it changes,like the day i watch Friends, for some time my response time gets decreased to 1/10th of its usual period.Even my all senses becomes active as never been before.
A very short-living but at the same time very strong impact can be seen is of Romantic Hollywood movies.I love romance shown in Hollywood, there only i find an irresistible surge of emotions.In Bollywood i think it is either pictured too good like Yash chopra's movie or really poor like Dharmesh darshan's one.In both the cases it looses the reality which is must in a romantic depiction of story in a movie.Recently i found some real stuffs in JAB WE MET, which had everything quite real including daily life language,situations, songs,everything fantastic.(But no more Jab we met in this post,sorry i couldn't stop myself writing a few lines about this movie).So all Romantic Hollywood movies leads to me in a mode which i never wanna go & with my strong will power or you can say the last desire for something else i am still successful in bringing me back from Romance mode to Real-professional-mode.
So i have started living my life in modes & it always reflects in my behavior,works & thinking everything.In fact to deal with some unavoidable situations i need to shift from one to another as per requirement in the same way as i need to change my mode from Hindi to English frequently while talking to Arun (my colleague, doesn't know Hindi) & Paul(my ex-roommate) at the same time.

firing fever

27th july 2006, the day means a lot for some 2k3 junta from NIT Jsr.It was the day when IBM India pvt. ltd visited this campus for the first time & 39 students (including me)were selected as 2007 joinees.It was the day of celebrations especially because most of the student selected were well known figure of clg (ofcourse for different reasons)
But the same day now most of them are regretting for.Reason is the most talked about feature of this MNC - Firing at a mass level.Now a days most ELTPs have noothing else to do other than talking about this.All you can get out of discussion an updated number of fired ELTPs.I can't understand how they are getting exact numbers untill there is a disclosure from company itself.Special blogs are being created just for creating panic among ELTPs.I regularly visit the orkut community for 2007 recruits in IBM not because i am afraid of being out of the company,but to see how useless ppl can be here to believe in fake statistics.
The very first time i came to know about this number of fired person over a phone call from one of my college friends.After working through out the night i was in deep sleep,then the stupid irritating ringtone of my cell started piercing into my ear.I said hello without opening my eyes,i wasn't knowing whose call it is?(Sometimes this practice creates problems also... once i responded SUSAN's (the BPops girl from USA) call with HAAN BOL).After hearing the voice i got it is Praveen.He asked me about updates of firing figure.At that time i hadn't got any news so i asked him back & got 15 from Kolkata,7 from Pune & 427 from Bangalore.A laymen also can say that the last one can't be true if others are.When i asked about the source of B'lore news, i got Priyanka's name.Well it was enough for me to believe that this figure can't be right.
So mails are being forwarded,people are calling everyone to be united & raise their voices.But is it going to change anything ? am afraid to say NOpe.They have got a perfect reason or you can say they have a perfect masque to hide their ulterior motive.Whatsoever reason may be....the thing is.. you can't escape from competition, everywhere it keeps coming in different forms..here again you can't afford to be in the trailing lot of your competency.Darwin's law for existence (Natural selection) is valid everywhere.
I am not worried as i always think its useless to be anywhere if you need to worry about throwing out of that.After my placement itself it was my reaction against the doubt of Shunny Raj (well i don't remember a moment i have called this guy with this name ever in college... its true distance can sometime create respect also other than long phone bills) that how much of person joining IBM will survive in it.Well i still say the same line i am not here fighting for my existence rather am fighting for being on TOP.
I may not be sure about otherthings but one positive outcome of this event, am sure of is, sudden emerged Unity among ELTPs.I remember it almost the same as at the time of delay in joining.All communities of IBM on Orkut used to be filled with these posts.In my previous post What makes us special in IBM i had mentioned a number of things,but missed this feature.Without this list can't be completed, so here it is...
Well you have to be prepared for any thing strange like these as long as you are in a special company like International Business Machine.Its all about Business honey...

I love night shift

I don't know why everything is so perfect in my life.It has never been like this before.Days were never so cool & night never so quite, its like euphoria.
You must be thinking what's so special happening in this freak's life.There is nothing special but i am enjoying my time.Now a days my company has shifted my shift from semi-night to complete night & this is driving me crazy.I don know why people used to get scared of this shift may be they don't know the right way to utilize what have or simply due to their complaining mentality.I have a simple funda of life...when nothing going right in your life pretend them to be right from other perspective.Believe me it can turn your life up & you will seriously start enjoying it.
Okay now i am working in night shift, so what special in this shift.So my friends you have a number of benefits of this shift,which you can avail specially when you are in a cool company like IBM.One important thing i am not saying that i am availing all the benefits coz its not a wise decision to accept anything here (as some of my colleagues can find me here).So here are what can be done while you work in this shift here.
* 400 bucks for every working day.
*100 bucks for dinner
*Personal cab facility
*Complete silence
* can enjoy your songs at full volume
* can watch movies & TV series online
* can use ladies rest room (hehe)
*can open your shoes & even socks..to feel like home
*none can disturb you by pinging all the time
*Less load of work
*can reduce your working hour to 6 also.
*No cappuccino so no harm to health
*Can put your legs on chair,desk,or anywhere possible.

Some time if you are lucky can get Enlightenment as Budhdha got under VATAVRIKSHA & as i did in front of computer (this time i am leaving you people puzzled over this Enlightenment topic).