Stop torturing me...

I don't have a problem with working hard,i can put atleast 90% of mine in work at most of the time (in fact my go beyond it if needed).But problem arises when someone tries to take advantage of me,it sucks.Am i a kid you can make me work just giving a chocolate.
Till now i haven't mentioned about the work, am doing in my company, coz i don't want to say something about nothing.I don't know my luck always favors me when it comes to money,but when matters with Knowledge-gaining come i am the cursed one.I always wanted to learn something about anything whatever comes to my way.but all the times i used to get distracted by other things.
In this company also i am struggling against the same,when i was on bench everybody was going for trainings & so i also wanted to be in the herd.Like everyone i asked my people manager to give me approval needed to enroll myself for any training.But it was rejected saying you should restrict yourself to ELTP trainings only.Was strange.. least expected, the rejection was a bit but the justification was toatally.What does that Restriction mean? still this line is a puzzle for me.I was thinking to go for certifications after these trainings,but after this i couldn't imagine asking for that.In all other approval like reimbursements,American-Express card, he was quite quick & never raised his brows,but this was something else & probably was not an icecube for my glass.
Well without any training i went for an interview for a project, i was ready to answer most of the Competency related questians could be asked to me at that level.But my interviewer (now my team-lead) was expecting something else from me.He just wanted me to show respects to all seniors in the team, was a bit strange, i had never expected anyone demanding respect.Coz i had always believed that Respect can't be created forcefully, if someone tries to do it, he can hardly end up creating fear among others (filled with hatred).I didn't say anything which was misunderstood as my accedence to his words.

Probably it's due to my silence only, i am in this project.I got warm welcome by everyone in the project specially from people of US.In my introduction mail all my achievements were mentioned,my being branch topper,all the prizes won by me & everything.It was mentioned it will be gr8 working with me.I don't know about them but from my side i haven't found anything gr8 while working or better say pretending to work.
It was gr8 to know that the platform i will be working on is good in the sense of demand.but, again the BUT was also added to that line, the version of front-end-tool ie Cognos we are using is an older one, so its difficult to have traditional training to be arranged for me.So i have to manage with Knowledge transfer(KT)...was pretty well someone will be focussed to me only while teaching.It started with Remote KT ie, who will be transferring me his knowledge (my team mate )wil trnsfer everything over phone calls, chats,& net meetings.It wasn't okay but i went for this as it was decided after this introduction there will be a tour arranged so that my team mate can come to Bangalore to give me KT.
It's third month of my joining but i didn't find something concrete in this direction.Now the person whom i am replacing is gone & i am supposed to work as he was doing, but how is this possible.It was okay in day shift coz i could ask other team-mates if i stuck to a point but now when i am working in night shift all safeguards used to be sleeping.The only problem i am facing in this shift is my poor knowledge about this system.When someone from US team asks me to solve any problem , i can't understand even the words mentioned ,going for solution is like a dream.I don't know what impression of mine,this is creating on them.. a DUMBO..if not exactly this, then i bet nothing less than this.My life was never like this, may be i didn't perform well at deciding moments of life but one thing i never compromised with is Complete understanding of stuffs.I never move on without covering up all things behind.This asphyxiating environment is making me do all i ever hated.
Another thing is my Think-pad issue,i am dying for it so that i can start working from home.My TP is in Hyderabad but don't know what's happening on this issue, infact now m tired of asking for it.This is not really enough for a jerk like me ,i haven't got proper access to the servers in three complete months, tickets have been cancelled & raised a no of times.My sent folders in mailbox are filled with follow-up mails,now i remember all the case numbers (in spite of my poor memory).I can guess the person's name at help-desks now.The never-ending-Approval-chains,Useless meetings & now the new-born cab issue,i think its proper time for reciting all the hindi-bhakti songs have heard so far ratherthan chanting for Help.Seriously the only way left to get tranquility in life is this,Listen the songs like Humko man ki shakti dena...or Itni shakti humein dena data..or the superb one Ae malik tere bande hum..(reminds me of my Dadimaa,she liked this a lot).

Well, waiting for balmy breeze to blow again.